


Hold Me For Warmth

by heavyweather



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Chest Cuddles, Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, Mentioned Chica Fischbach, Mentioned Spencer Nestor, Not Beta Read, Softness, also this is entirely because i wanted a fic with mark laying on ethans chest, big man be small and i cry, i also wrote most of this at 2am, i like big man trying to be small for their small boyfriend, so be nice to me, this whole thing is soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27804310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavyweather/pseuds/heavyweather
Summary: the way he melts into marks side with an arm around his shoulder. the way time is marked by how many times they share small kisses in the hallways. the way ethan refuses to wear his own clothes, wanting to constantly feel mark around him, even when in separate rooms.it's the little things that you don't notice when you're busy.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 16
Kudos: 159





	Hold Me For Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> helloooo people, this is really soft and kinda rambly but thats what youre here for right? that's basically everything i write. thought this whole thing up with a friend at like 2 am, made some Choices about where to take it. maybe if they ever post anything about it, ill link it, but for now, take this nice cuddle sesh and vibe my dudes.

sometimes, when you're busy- when you don't have time to savor things, you forget what things feel like. 

you forget what coffee really tastes like. you forget what the sun feels like on your back. you forget that the grass is wet in the mornings and that squirrels actually make noises.

you forget to take in the word around you and realize that it's real. you forget what it feels like to hold someone's hand. what lingering finger tips feel like across shoulders. the thrill of feeling someone's eyes on you across the room. the warms of legs tangled under blankets and the sound of hearts beating oh so ever out of sync. the closeness of sharing a bed and the giggles forced out during morning routines.

when you don't have time to notice the little things, they slip out from under you and linger behind you like a cloud. 

with everything going on, ethans forget to pay attention.

he's forgotten to pay attention to how marks fingers linger on his wrist when passing by. the way the sun lays so delicately across his chest in the morning, sprinkling its rays into the room and over their bodies. the way marks eyes watch him as he cooks and shuffles around the kitchen at night. the soft words spoken in the dead of night during editing stretches. the way whenever ethan falls asleep on the couch, he always wakes up with a blanket over him and a pillow under his head. 

he's forgotten to appreciate the little things about their lives. the way mark put backs his toothbrush when he forgets and always makes sure there's a hoodie within reach on the colder days. the way he doesn't even have to ask mark to grab the milk from the fridge because it's already on the counter.

the way he melts into marks side with an arm around his shoulder. the way time is marked by how many times they share small kisses in the hallways. the way ethan refuses to wear his own clothes, wanting to constantly feel mark around him, even when in separate rooms. 

it's the little things that you don't notice when you're busy.

it's been awhile since the two of them had had more than an hour or two a day without feeling exhausted. the past few months have been hectic to say the least. 

mark has been away every few weeks filming for heist 2, almost living out of a suitcase, if it wasn't for the wonderful assistants and wardrobe attendees. ethan has followed him out to set a few times, always loving the way mark is when in work mode. the determined look in his eye and the light, cheerful way he explains the exact way he wants a shot to look. 

its entrancing.

but often, ethan is at home. either filming for his own channel or working on outside projects involving other friends or brands. he's not constantly working, but the looming deadlines and self imposed expectations mean he is constantly thinking about work. chica and spencer keep him company when mark is away, noses on his thighs and full on laying on him when he sleeps. 

the dogs aren't allowed on the bed, but what mark doesnt know wont hurt him. 

ethan misses being able to sink into the little moments of life. he loves to touch and hold and be around for life. he wants to be able to make mark breakfast without thinking about him leaving in four hours for the airport or be able to finish off a recording session without knowing that the bed it empty when he returns to their room. 

the softness of life when nothing is happening can be nice when it's just the two of them, regardless of what's going on.

all of this longing, the want to be able to breathe easy, lead to them both huddled in bed for the first time in a few weeks. 

mark didn't have to leave for shooting for almost a week. the production company was sorting out their next location and was currently trying to make sure they had enough space to have everything they needed for the next block of recording. this left mark with little to do, other than approving small things when they came to him. 

he's been home for a day or two now, mostly catching up on editing and sending things to lixian for the week. its been nice to have him home. ethan is still working, but having mark across the room while he records is wonderful. he makes little huffing noises when he finds a joke particularly funny and it always makes ethans smile ten times bigger. 

but now, the two of them were getting ready for bed. ethan was propped up against the headboard, a few pillows against his back and the comforter across his legs. scrolling through twitter never really brings anything exciting, but it's something to do while mark is brushing his teeth. 

he can hear the sink running, the sound of marks electric toothbrush slightly louder over the sound of rushing water. the bathroom light peaks into the dimly lit room, the few lamps they have a stark contrast to the overheads in the bathroom. 

ethan glances up as the water turns off and the door creaks open. 

mark looks tired. the last month of work catching up with him. he'd never admit it, but his tight schedule can be exhausting if he doesn't force himself to have a break every now and then. his socks brush against the floor as he shuffles to the bed, easily stepping over chica in the process.

she and spencer both raise their heads as mark makes a small groaning sound, almost diving face first into the comforter. his legs hanging uncomfortably off the side of the bed and his head just barely touching ethans hip. ethan barks out a laugh and brings a hand to his boyfriend's head, gently running his nails across his scalp. 

"someone needs to schedule more naps into their day." the smile is evident in his tone, his lips turning into a smirk as he lowers his phone.

"don't need naps." it's muffled into the mattress, mark not bothering to move his face to breathe, unafraid of suffocating. 

"yeah, okay." ethan knows mark can handle himself. he knows the man thrives off of being busy, constantly working. but he knows that if he truly was overworking himself, mark would listen to ethan if he said to take a break. "just worried about you." 

it's so soft. quiet words spoken between quiet moments. 

mark turns his head to the side, shifting so he can look up at ethan. the hand in his hair moves to push some out of his face, tuck loose strands behind his ear. 

"i know." ethan smiles down at him as he speaks. the care in his eyes makes mark feel small. "im okay." 

"i know." the smile never leaves his face, soft stares as they look at eachother.

mark shifts so his legs are fully on the bed, his knees almost tucked up near his stomach. his hands move so they are in front of him, splayed out next to ethans legs, fingers skirting over them above the comforter. 

he feels ethan move his hand to the back of his head, his fingers tangled in his hair, a nice presence to remind him he's there. being so close to him has always been nice, always felt like home. mark bumps his forehead against ethans hip, closes his eyes, breathes easy for the first time in what felt like months. 

they lay like that for a while, just enjoying being able to share the same space with each other. occasionally chica or spencer will shift in their beds, but it's mostly quiet. ethans hand never leaves mark's hair, alternating from combing through the long strands at the base of his head and smoothing back the hair around his face.

it's nice to be touched like this. to feel delicate, to feel taken care of. often mark isn't one to seek out this type of care, the soft touches and the brush of skin. he prefers to say how he's feeling, leaving little notes around the house or sending texts every so often. but occasionally he'll get to soak up the affection ethan gives him; flushing at holding hands or the feeling of lips against his shoulder. ethans touch burns so good, lights little fires wherever their skin meets and lingers there for hours. it feels good.

mark hadn't noticed his eyes drift shut until he feels ethan shift next to him. the dim light of the bedside lamp burns his eyes, making him squint when he opens his eyes. ethan is leaning over to plug in his phone, the warmth of his body leaving as he shifts to reach the cord. mark makes a sound without meaning to, having not realized how much he was craving being close to him. 

ethan snickers as he glances back towards mark. the smirk is back, though mark isn't sure if it ever left. 

"just give me a second, bub," mark just moves to grab at his shirt, not really tugging, but wanting to touch some part of him again. it takes a bit for ethan to make sure everything is set on his phone before shifting back over. 

mark is made to sit up, although he protests. ethan gets him under the covers and makes to get out of bed. mark, again, makes a sound at that, just wanting to maintain touching him. ethan just laughs and reassures him he will return in a minute. 

mark watches him as he leaves the room. he hears footsteps down the hall, but they fade as ethan heads down the stairs and into the kitchen. in the silence of the room, mark allows himself to shut his eyes again. 

the spot where ethan sat was warm, his fingers gently stroke the linen, somehow trying to soak in the heat. he's missed the heat. he settles into the pillows under him, shifting to lay over the warmth next to him. 

the lingering warmth of a body has always been comforting to him. the leftover knowledge that someone was there, that someone was alive there, it reminded him that his body did the same. that he made heat, warmth, left behind the memory of himself when he left a place.

mark's missed the warmth, the way it feels to have someone around him to give him what he needs. he's missed ethans warmth, the way he speaks so softly sometimes. the way his fingers feel in his hair, on his leg, on his shoulder. he's missed the way he feels when he's around ethan, how safe he feels, how much he can be himself around him. 

hotel beds are never warm. they are cold and stale and smell like detergent. the rooms are dark and always look like they were made for old women. everything is unfamiliar. the bathrooms feel stareil and the windows don't open. it's a wonder mark ever got to sleep in those places. 

he's missed being able to wake up to someone, to be able to hold them in the early morning before either of them were ready for the day. he's missed what it feels like to wake up sweaty because of another person, to feel like you've melted into their body because of the heat. he's missed feeling like an extension of a whole other entity, separate from either of them, but still a combination of limbs and bones and skin. 

mark's missed being with ethan.

mark hears the door creak, the soft swoosh of socked feet against hardwood floors. the swooshing heads towards the other side of the bed, the sound of a glass being set down reaches his ears. he still hasn't opened his eyes. he hears ethan mulling around the room. the thuds of clothes in the laundry hamper, the clicks of lights being turned off, the snap of a door being shut. it's all wafting in marks head and painting images behind his eyelids.

there's a hand in his hair again, smoothing the strands back and awar from his face. he groans a little bit, wondering why, but when there's a nudge at his shoulder he scoots back to let ethan into the bed. 

"i think spencer brought in a few sticks again from the backyard." it's whispered, quiet as ethan lifts the comforter and tucks his legs under the blankets. "there's dirt by the back door." 

"we'll deal with it in the morning." it's slurred, barely understandable. partly from how close to sleep mark is and because of his head buried in his pillow. 

"yeah." 

ethan speaks so softly sometimes. his voice is always so nice to listen to, whenever he's doing voices or just speaking normally, mark could listen to him forever. but sometimes it's so soft, softer than mark's used to. the gravelliness of ethan's voice will fade away and leaves this silky timber behind. 

marks only ever heard that voice spoken to him. late nights where the two of them are close and alone, breaths shared between small spaces. mark feels special when he hears it, knows ethan saves that voice for him. knows ethan knows words mean so much to mark, so he makes them sound special. 

he opens his eyes at that thought. he wants to look at ethan, look at what he's doing. the lights are off. ethan must have also turned off the bathroom light. marks eyes don't strain in the low moon light coming through the window. he sees the outline of ethan's face, he's on his back. 

he has his eyes open, just enough to watch the ceiling. mark looks from his eyes to his lips, the slope of his nose against the shadows on the opposite wall. he looks at the hair in his eyes and the stubble on his jaw. the way his sideburns swerve into his hairline and how the freckles on his cheekbones butt against the corner of his eyes. 

it makes him want to scoot closer. to get a better look. his hand reaches out, rests on ethans chest for a moment. his head turns towards mark, a question in his eyes. mark gently cups ethans jaw as he props himself up, now looking slightly down at his boyfriend. his thumb strokes ethans cheek as he leans closer. 

they share a kiss in the dark. 

it's quick, barely there. but mark can still taste the lingering taste of toothpaste on his lips. the skirting prickel of hair on his chin. 

ethan hums into it, brings a hand around mark's head and rests it on the back of it. mark pulls back, moving his hand to ethans necks, toying with the collar of his shirt, the pads of his thumb brushing over his collar bones. 

mark never wants to leave this boy. never wants to stop staring at him.

but he's tired. wiped out by the months of work he's done and the thought of more to come. he assumes ethan is also tired, weeks of work piling up, taking care of the house, the dogs. 

so he lays back down, sneaking an arm under his boy and moving his hand to ethan's chest. ethan hums again, another arm reaching out to settle on marks shoulder. the hand in his air never leaves, just readjusts to fit his body under ethans arm. 

it's finally warm again. he feels everywhere they touch. their knees knocking together, the hair on ethans legs against mark's toes, the way mark's stomach is in ethans side. the small strip of skin mark feels on his hip from ethan's shirt riding up. 

mark finally feels warm. 

there's a cheek on the top of his head, a kiss placed into his hair. he hears ethan's heart, beating slower as the energy leaves his body. he feels good like this. in ethans arms. it's normally the other way around; ethan loves touch, seeks it out constantly, just wants to feel mark. mark can't count the number of times he's fallen asleep with ethan in his arms, a head on his chest. but this feels right, in this moment. it feels right to be held like this, to know ethan has him and won't let go. 

it makes mark breathe easier, makes him close his eyes. he knows ethan won't let go, knows his boy has him till tomorrow brings anew. so he lets so, allows everything to trickle out of him, allows himself to focus on only this moment. 

sleep hasn't come easy in many weeks, but here in his bed with ethans arms around his body, his head resting on his chest, mark falls asleep to the sound of ethans breathing and the beating of his heart.

ethans hand only stops scratching mark's scalp after he too falls asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr at moriiweather :) come say hi and drop a message in my ask box


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